The period after a breakup is often harder than the breakup itself, and you don't know how to finally forget your ex. You may be stuck in feelings and anxieties that fill the inner void.

“Usually breaking up a relationship is accompanied by a lot of stress. At the most critical moments, you can hear how a person loses all meaning in existence, thinks only about his former partner and wants to return him in any way. Many do not even think about how to let go of the former and live on at such moments, and this is what will help you return to your old life, ”says psychologist and founder and teacher of the Institute of Modern Meditation Natalya Repina.

How to let go of your ex: 5 tips to help you move on

In the first days and weeks after parting, it is especially difficult to believe in the reality of what is happening. The reality denial mechanism is triggered, which protects our psyche from a strong shock. From the outside, it may even seem that a person is not worried about separation. After a while, the understanding “it's all over” comes, and emotions just overwhelm. During this period, it is important not to move away from your feelings, but to acknowledge them, and start thinking about how to let go of your ex-husband or boyfriend.

Live your own feelings

Living a situation most often goes through five stages that are widely described in the psychological literature: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. How long each stage lasts is affected by the length of the relationship, the depth of attachment, and individual personality traits. You should not artificially speed up the process: seize stress, drink alcohol to make it easier. This is the road to nowhere. You should not compare yourself with others and try to cope with stress just as quickly - everyone has their own speed of passing through difficulties.

Give yourself time

Parting with a loved one is associated with difficult changes in life. They are not always pleasant and can even cause physical pain. Back in 2010, scientists from the University of Michigan found that the feeling of separation can be compared to the pain of a real burn. During this period, there is a great temptation to return a partner or prove that he was wrong.

How then not to fall into temptation and how to forget the former love ? Try not to meet with your ex at all for a while, do not write to him and do not follow his life on social networks (you can block his accounts and numbers if it is difficult to fight desire). A normal dialogue will still not work, and mutual claims can lead to conflict and a new showdown.

Pay attention to yourself and your inner state: observe the daily routine, eat right and engage in raising awareness. So you will spend your time more productively, and in place of obsessive thoughts about your partner, others will come - about your own growth and development.

communicate more

Meet more people who support you. It is not necessary to go to noisy parties, to large companies. Just call a friend, sister or mother and invite them over. Try not to talk about your ex or get into relationships if possible. You do not need gossip, but the warmth of live communication. Talk about your vacation plans, hobbies, books.

Don't start a new relationship right away

It seems that the emptiness inside can be filled by relationships that you enter after a hard break. But this is a trap: until you figure out your feelings and let go of your ex, nothing sensible will come of it. Old grievances will move into new relationships. After imaginary relief, disappointment will come, thoughts of parting will come. You may find yourself in a vicious circle.

Work on self-realization

Parting with a partner, which at first is regarded as a personal tragedy, sometimes becomes an opportunity to find new acquaintances and hobbies, fulfill oneself and understand oneself. Mindfulness helps to go beyond the situation and look at it in volume. You begin to see cause and effect relationships and understand where things are headed.

You can also use meditation to get out of the situation. It is meditation that helps to look at the problem from different angles and quickly overcome stress. Stars also do not always know how to forget their former love, especially if the gap has passed recently.

How to understand that the former is forgotten

After some time, you will realize that memories of a former partner no longer deliver painful emotions. There are other signs that make it clear that the relationship is complete:

  • you yourself no longer want to call or write to a person, stop watching him on social networks - the question of how to forget the former forever is no longer relevant for you;
  • memories of the past do not make you sad: films and songs that used to have a special meaning become commonplace, the desire to “start all over again” disappears;
  • dating comes from interest, not the desire to take revenge on the former: gradually you learn to manage your condition, get out of stress and see opportunities, not limitations.