If you are pregnant, then sooner or later (usually as soon as the stomach becomes visible to the naked eye), casual acquaintances, just passers-by, or even friends and relatives begin to let go of phrases in your address, from which, as they say, even stand, even fall.
Many of these comments have already become so commonplace that most people consider them harmless, when in fact they are far from being the case. Even if they are said with the best of intentions, without thinking, as a joke or just to say something, all these seemingly innocent questions and remarks are terribly infuriating. And most importantly, it is not clear how to respond to them. And you are already ready to burst into tears from any little thing.
Here is what you are likely to hear in the near future (and if the expectant mother is not you, then look at what phrases are better not to say):
1. You look tired.
Still would. Heartburn , nausea, vomiting, insomnia, dizziness... The list goes on.
2. Did you plan it?
This is personal information.
3. Oh, you are so huge!
Of course, it is this comment that needs to be heard by someone who doesn’t know how to deal with this new, stretched, itchy, asymmetrical body anyway.
In general, any comments about the size or shape of the pregnant body are beyond.
4. It must be hard for you with such a belly...
Hmm...
5. Oh, yes, you almost did not get better!
On the surface - sounds like a compliment, but only on the surface. Pregnant women are already filled with anxiety about everything that happens to them and to those who are still sitting inside, so such a comment only adds to anxiety and uncertainty. What if something is wrong, and the child is growing slowly?
6. Do you have twins there? Are you sure they make mistakes sometimes, you know?
Haha very funny. Such a joke. A hint that the size of your belly doesn't suggest it's meant for just one. And then there is an even more subtle joke - it implies that, even if the ultrasound showed one fetus, you should not relax. And this, apparently, should be very funny.
7. You look like you're about to give birth.
Well, what can I say... You also somehow look.
8. Rubbing your pregnant belly is good luck!
And after all rubbed! A completely unfamiliar or barely familiar person reached out to your stomach and, without any of your permission, rubbed it quite noticeably several times, and did this solely in his own interests. As if you are an inanimate figure of some god.
But your body is not public property. Hands off!
9. Will you give birth yourself? Are you planning to breastfeed?
If such a personal question is asked by a loved one, this is one thing. And if it comes from a barely familiar person, then it sounds like for some reason he wants to condemn you in advance for the decisions that you will have to make and the choices that you will have to make during and after childbirth . Or maybe he wants to give unsolicited advice or talk about his own experience ... In any case, asking such a question is tactless.
10. Maybe I don’t need to tell you this, because you are pregnant ...
Maybe not. Especially if you plan to continue this opening line with a horror story about how you gave birth without anesthesia, or about how you were torn during childbirth and could barely move after you were sewn up.
11. Wow, you are brave!
This is another example of a compliment, the true meaning of which does not come immediately. Who doesn't like being called brave? But what it really means is that when you have another child, you take on an unbearable burden, which requires a fair amount of courage.
If you rewrite the question, then it will not sound so cute at all: “Why did you decide on another one? Don’t you already have seven shops?”
You can answer like this: “Yes, it’s hard to argue with that, but I love to suffer. Actually, it's none of your business."
What is better to say if you met a familiar pregnant woman?
- You look beautiful!
- How can I help you?
- When can I bring in some prepared dinners for you to freeze for later?
- Do you need a good cleaner?
- My niece works as a babysitter, here is her phone number.
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