The fear of public speaking is inherent in absolutely any person on planet Earth. Clinical psychologist Yulia Vladis talked about where the legs of this phobia grow from, how to make friends with her and make her an ally.
Glossophobia: rule and conquer
Glossophobia, or the fear of public speaking, is a fairly common phenomenon. Everyone is afraid to speak in front of other people, regardless of age and status: whether it is a child who reads his first poem on a stool surrounded by loved ones, or an artist who is worried in front of thousands of people.
The first thing to start with fearfulness is with the realization that you can cope only if you stop avoiding what scares you. Take small steps into your fear , realize the cause-and-effect relationships and overcome them. No need to build a hero out of yourself and throw your chest into the embrasure. But it’s also not worth denying your fear, but it’s simply necessary to begin to realize it.
The fear of public speaking and ways to overcome it lie in the plane of the unconscious, from where it must be removed. In general, it is at the level of the reptilian brain. This is the bodily center, which is associated with survival, instincts, automatic response patterns. At this level, we can't do anything with it. Therefore, it is important for us to transfer it from the level of the body to the level of the mental center.
Then, from the sphere of the unconscious, it will pass into the conscious: we will be able to understand and control it. Let's look at this with a real example. Look at your right big toe right now. Did you look? That's it: you turned your attention to him.
Thus, he moved from the level of the unconscious, when you were not aware of him, to the realm of the conscious, when you can move him. The same with fear: we need to move it from an area where we cannot control it (the area of the body center) to an area under our control (mental center).To do this, it is important to understand, first, where fear comes from. And secondly, what bonuses will we get if we make friends with him.
The public and death: what do they have in common
The answer to the question "How not to be afraid of public speaking" is in the plane of our distant ancestors, and here's why. As you know, the fear of public speaking is one of the strongest. He stands on the same level as the fear of death. After all, it is due to the work of the parts of the brain responsible for survival.
Let's step into the depths of centuries, when our civilization was just emerging and people formed warlike tribes. At that time, they needed to explore new territory, unexplored locations, and, of course, it was not safe.
Therefore, the most courageous representatives of the tribe went into battle. Naturally, some of them died. They did not know what they would face, and were not always ready to repulse their opponents. That's why already in those days there was an understanding that if you sit quietly and do not stick your head out, you have a better chance of survival.
Glossophobia originates from there. At the same time, it is important to understand that the pioneers, fearlessly ahead, collected all the cream: they got the largest carcasses of animals, as well as the most delicious fruits and the most beautiful wives. Because they went into their own fear and got all the best. At the same time, there was a second category of people who followed them. They were content with less, but they also got tidbits.
Only the third category, which preferred to sit and not stick out, was deprived of a lot. In addition, sooner or later they ran out of resources, and with their fear they doomed themselves to a painful death.
All of the above does not mean at all that you need to drop everything and stand in the front row, bypassing safety precautions. But at least it's worth getting into the second rank. And for this you have to go, and not sit still.
More experience, less fear
If you are looking for advice on how not to be afraid to speak in front of the public, then, firstly, you need to understand the root cause of fear (behavior patterns of our distant ancestors), and secondly, realize what valuable information it carries.
Any fear is an indicator of experience. He says that no one in our family has ever done what we want to do. Most likely, none of your parents and grandparents spoke on the radio or on television, none of them broadcast live on social networks and did not perform at any major venues, if we are talking about live performances.
This fear says that there is no such experience in the family. The good news is that if we go beyond our kind and do what no one has done, there is a huge resource for us in this area. There are absolutely no barriers in front of us.
Same it is important to understand that absolutely every person at their level faces excitement or fear of speaking, depending on what experience they had before. For some, it is wildly scary to go live on social networks, and someone is worried before performing at the Olimpiyskiy. This suggests that a person who performs in front of a full stadium already has experience playing in more modest venues, and he has gradually grown to a new level.
Of course, there will always be excitement, this is normal. Only people with mental disabilities do not worry. But at the same time, excitement should not capture us entirely: it should not control us. An easy experience is even good: it means that you have room to grow.
How to stop being afraid to speak in public
If you do not know how to overcome the fear of public speaking, then just follow the simple recommendations. With the help of these tips, you will be able to get to the performance in Crocus if you take small, progressive steps.
The first step: to realize that it is normal to be afraid, and absolutely everyone faces it.
You're not some coward compared to the rest of the daredevil world. Absolutely every person is afraid and is looking for a solution to the problem called "How not to be afraid to speak in public." Because this is about manifestation, which is not always safe. therefore being nervous before an important report, for example, is quite natural.
Second step: acknowledge that the fear is there, give it space and don't fight.
Say to yourself, “I’m scared right now. Yes, I'm worried, my body is shaking, my hands are wet, and yes, I'm letting it be today. It is important to voice the emotion and your feelings. When we say out loud what is happening to us, it already relieves some of the tension.
Step Three: Physically Live the Fear
Before we go to perform or go live, it is important for us to physically remove some of this emotional charge. For this, various breathing exercises are suitable (to breathe through fear), as well as tapping the whole body (each particle can be tapped with fists).
Jumping does a great job with this, and you can also scream loudly. Everyone chooses their own available way, which will be their answer to the question "How to overcome the fear of public speaking."
Fourth step: agree with the brain, with its reptilian part
Take him as an ally. To do this, designate a reward for each step towards fear. It can be anything - from a cup of delicious coffee in your favorite cafe to a major purchase and the realization of a dream. It is very important here that after we have stepped into this, we have entered, immediately to realize the promise.
This is how we create a new positive reinforcement for the brain, a new neural connection, where performing = pleasure, performing = fulfilling a dream . Thus, our brain begins to help us with this. Next time there will be much less resistance, and we can easily repeat this experience.
Fifth step: neutralize fear with constant action
Fear decreases only with the number of repetitions. Therefore, it is important to start with something simple, for example, record a story, and gradually complicate the task each time. You will see how for the tenth time there will be no excitement before the current level of manifestation. Each time we complicate the task, we grow in this way.
It is important to act consciously. Prepare, agree with yourself simply in your head and go consistently. You won't be able to enter a large area right away. This is where the system of small steps comes into play.
Each time you will move to a new level as a speaker and look back in surprise, watching what path you have already traveled.
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