What to do if the husband does not want to work: 5 tips from a psychologist

 Work, as Voltaire said, saves us from three evils: boredom, vice and want. But even this does not always motivate men to work. 

What to do if the husband does not want to work: 5 tips from a psychologist


A man in a couple: what is he responsible for

A man and a woman, like water and a flame, are absolutely polar subjects in the energetic sense. These differences are expressed in everything. If a woman is responsible for the hearth, keeping warm in a couple, then we consider a man from the point of view of work, achieving various results, realizing and making money.


Material goals and their implementation always lie with a man. When we enter into a relationship, it is important to remember this energy balance.. Answering the question "Should a man work", we unequivocally say: "Yes."


Let's remember again about our dual energies: financial growth and the maintenance of the family are entirely a man's responsibility.


Of course, in the modern world, such an ultimatum seems outdated. Women work on an equal footing with men and sometimes earn more. This is one of the main problems of our time, when a man loses motivation to work. More specifically, this can happen for several reasons.


Why the husband does not want to work: 5 reasons

Reason one. Woman with masculine energy

Why does a man not want to work at all? The first is because a woman is likely to show too much masculine energy in a relationship. She can pull on herself the "strap" of typically male concerns: she does everything around the house herself, makes important decisions on her own, tries to do without male help. Then the man feels his uselessness and loses motivation for violent activity.

If you recognize yourself and your union, try to change the energy vector. Remember that you are a woman and came into this world for pleasure. So start eating this life with a big spoon, enjoy every day. Then the man will begin to mirror you and enter into a state of responsibility for the family, gain firm confidence and begin to achieve the goal.

The second reason. Mixing roles in a couple

The second and most common reason is when a role imbalance occurs in a couple: a woman takes the position of a parent, namely a caring mother, while a man becomes her son. If a partner suddenly stops working, lies on the couch all day long, not trying to change anything in life, most likely he has taken the position of a child, and the woman has taken the position of a parent. Drawing an analogy with the family, what does a mother do for her son? That's right, he gives money for ice cream and chewing gum. But not vice versa. So-so perspective, right?

What to do if the husband does not want to work in such a combination of circumstances? It is important for a woman to reach equal levels with her partner: stop controlling and raising him, start treating him as a self-sufficient person.

Reason three. Lack of faith in a partner

The next thing to do if the partner does not want to work is to stop nagging him every day, blowing his mind or making a huge number of claims. Thus, you demonstrate disrespect for a man and a complete lack of faith in his success. In such a situation, it is important to remember that you yourself chose this partner as the head of the family. Try to trust him, his intuition and knowledge. And, of course, believe in him unconditionally.

When we begin to clearly realize that we have chosen a partner as the captain of our family ship, then he himself begins to feel his strength. He understands that he can do anything, and his woman does not doubt him for a minute. Then the man takes responsibility for the material side of the union and begins to grow financially.

Reason four. Unethical Partner

The most irreversible and sad situation is when a man does not work intentionally, because he uses the woman's ability to pay. It is important to check if this man is a gigolo, accustomed to living at the expense of his partner. If you suspect that all his sweet speeches, vows of love are just such a selfish character, try to pull yourself together.

Think rationally and take off your rose-colored glasses. Accept the situation and try to find the root cause: why did you find yourself next to such a person, for what purpose did you attract him into your life? Most likely, it will be difficult for you to get out of such a love trap on your own. So do not refuse the professional help of a psychologist.

Reason five. secondary benefit

There is another reason why the husband does not work, and the woman puts up with it - this is a benefit that is not obvious at first sight. A woman is totally dependent on a man, and it is vital for her that he be with her. For this purpose, she ties him with money. She herself supports the family, and the man is dependent on her. He will not go anywhere: he will not leave, he will not go to another. In male idleness, a woman finds such a toxic plus for herself.

In such a situation, first of all, you need to look for the root cause: it is especially important to diagnose relationships in your family. Perhaps there were women in your family who used money to demonstrate power over their partners. You unconsciously repeat their fate. In this case, you need to disidentify yourself with the tribal history and start living according to your own plan.

The second option, why such relationships can suit you is the absolute worthlessness of yourself. You do not believe that a man can be with you just like that: not for the sake of money, but because he truly loves. With such a problem, of course, you need to work with self-esteem and self-confidence. Only when you love yourself, feel worthy of an adequate union, will your man begin to work. Well, or a loving, hard-working partner will come in his place.

How to make a man work

Honest, short answer: no way. Accept the fact that a man is a self-sufficient person who makes his own decisions. No tricks, persuasion or even blackmail can make it work. He will either take financial responsibility as a couple or he won't. Indeed, there are men in the world who, due to infantility , are not ready for such a burden. But, believe me, there are many more sane people. Those who want to grow in their income - for the sake of the well-being of their families as well.

The task of a woman is to help her partner to reveal their potential. What do I need to do? To begin with, stop playing the savior and adequately look at things. Your man is what he is: he cannot be corrected or changed. It remains to understand him, but also to appreciate, love and, of course, believe in yourself. After all, when you believe in yourself, love and respect, your partner begins to treat you the same way.

Based on all of the above, the answer to the question - the husband does not work, what to do - will sound like this: be on an equal footing and not play parents and children. Accept a man for who he is. And also to work out some kind of traumatic scenarios and stop pumping exclusively male energy.

Be a woman in the full sense of the word and together with your partner go to your overall financial prosperity, wealth and abundance. If you are ready for such a transformation, then your partner will also change laziness to enthusiasm and will definitely start working.

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