How to overcome doubts about the deservedness of your success and make them work for yourself, we figure it out together with a psychologist, self-esteem coach Ksenia Demina.
According to statistics, up to 70% of successful people experience impostor syndrome. These are people who do not go with the flow, but set goals and achieve them, while devaluing their success.
And the higher the bar, the larger the achievements, the more it seems to a person subject to the syndrome that success is accidental, that he did not do his job well enough, therefore he is not worthy of his place, he will be exposed, and all this will soon end. After all, if you do not recognize your merits within yourself, then success is temporary.
Where does healthy self-criticism end and where does the syndrome begin?
Healthy self-criticism is the ability to accept your mistakes and defeats and draw conclusions. Sit down and evaluate your work and achievements. You can do it on paper, enter the data in a table or draw a diagram so that it is clear and understandable - here I did everything perfectly, but here I fell short, but there is an opportunity to improve the performance and correct the situation. Such an analysis is designed to motivate you to take action and new achievements.
And impostor syndrome is what stops you. If you only see that you lack the competencies, time, and resources to complete your tasks, but you don’t notice successes, and they don’t inspire you, then the impostor syndrome is evident.
The roots of the impostor syndrome lie in perfectionism, when a person wants to do everything perfectly and nothing else, and if it doesn’t work out, he blames himself for the failure. Against the backdrop of these experiences, anxiety arises.
People with the syndrome think about problems for a long time, make decisions slowly, doubt, hesitate, and, as a result, their effectiveness in business decreases.After all, as soon as such a person achieves something, he has to prove to himself that he did it himself and is worthy of his place.
He believes that all the success that already exists is accidental, it is impossible to repeat it again, slips into procrastination and does not work, although he could go further and get an even greater result.
Someone who has achieved a lot, climbed the career ladder, but thinks that this is not his merit, mental problems and disorders may begin. When you are on the verge of self-criticism, which turns into constant reflection on what everyone will now find out that in fact you are not so smart and your success is random - there is a hard rollback in all areas of life: problems arise at work, income drops, disagreements arise in family.
It happens that impostor syndrome causes prolonged depression, and a person cannot get out of it on his own without the help of specialists.
Turn Demand into an Advantage
Perfectionism can be helpful if you can dispassionately analyze a situation. Doubts and the ability to overcome them - temper the character and speak of your indifference to the matter. There are several effective ways to help get rid of self-doubt and turn increased demands for good.
1. Diary of success
Keeping a diary of your achievements helps you see the causal relationship between your actions and the result. If today you have reached career heights, sit down and write in your diary what made it happen. Success is not luck or luck.
This is your work. And if you celebrate it and praise yourself for the actions that led you to where you are now, a causal relationship will form in your head and you will understand that your success is not accidental, but is the result of hard work.
2. Reward for achieving the goal
Be sure to reward yourself for reaching your goal. It happens that an ambitious goal is achieved, but the person is dissatisfied with the result. It happens because our brains tend to discount their results.
We must learn to praise ourselves for achieving even intermediate results and encourage progress. Agree with yourself even before you have reached the goal that as soon as you get the result, you will definitely buy something for yourself, go on a trip or reward yourself in some other way. And in no case do not deceive yourself. These will be your specific trophies that will help you remember the path you have traveled and not devalue it.
3. Mindfulness
Try to take a sober look at your perfectionism . If you understand that you are quite demanding of yourself, then you can appreciate this quality and thank yourself for it. What have you achieved thanks to exactingness and discipline?
It can be not only career success, but also a good figure, harmonious family relationships, the absence of health problems, and so on. It is thanks to your exactingness that you are in your place today. And when you answer this question, you will understand that perfectionism, and even your nit-picking, is good for you. And you deserve what you have.
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