Someone wants to fully devote themselves to the family, and someone wants to go headlong into work. Is it possible to combine all this successfully? We prioritize and seek balance.
It often happens that people go to extremes. A woman chooses one thing: either a family or a career. And often this upsets a certain balance in self-realization.
When family becomes the only priority, you often have to give up some of your career dreams. A woman is only concerned with the home, the arrangement of this internal system. She gives her energy, lives in the name of the family, her “I” is relegated to the background. And when she looks, for example, at her friends who have built a career, she can be overcome by negative emotions. She begins to think that she sacrificed her life. The husband is also growing professionally, he is successful, satisfied, but she does not feel happy next to him. Only discontent grows in her.
If a woman chooses a career and leaves all her strength at work, this also leads to problems. The energy that needs to be given to the family is spent on implementation in society. A woman, when she comes home in the evening, has no strength for her family. Gradually, this affects the relationship with both her husband and children. Everyone is unhappy, because the woman comes home just to recuperate, spend the night and go back to work.
Why do people go to these extremes? This may be due, for example, to a tendency towards perfectionism. The woman is trying to prove that she is a professional, the best mother, the best wife. And in the end, she still remains dissatisfied. Striving for the ideal, some kind of stereotyped image does not lead to anything but disappointment.
Work VS family: how to choose and not regret
Choosing one thing, we inevitably lose another. You need to understand that it's good to be in balance. In the first place, a person should have himself - with his own needs, desires and interests. It is important to find a place for everything that you love. This is the only way to be in a resourceful state, in which there is the strength and desire to love, to take care of others. When there is no such state, a person begins to feel sorry for himself and blame everyone for the fact that life has failed. But how to find this balance and how to manage everything?
1. Make a decision
First, answer your own questions:
- what do I want ?;
- why do I like it ?;
- what will it give me ?;
- why is it important to me ?;
- what if i choose a different option?
It often happens that a woman goes to work, and then begins to doubt: she is torn between office and home, is constantly nervous and irritated. As a result, everything falls out of hand, nothing happens, there is not enough time for anything. A woman at work thinks about household chores, and at home she mentally returns to conversations with her boss, assignments and tasks.
It is necessary to make a clear decision and, if it is not possible to abandon one in favor of the other, then it is important to prioritize: to choose which is more important.
2. Accept the situation
To understand that it is impossible to have time for everything. You will have to prioritize in any case. And the most important priority on which a woman needs to focus is herself.
No wonder they say that the happiness of the family depends on the happiness of the mother. When you prioritize yourself and think about how comfortable you will be, you take care of your family. Understand that not washing the dishes after a hard day's work is not a tragedy. Sometimes it is simply impossible to catch everything. If a mother is always tired and irritable, this cannot but reflect on the family. Relationships deteriorate, contact is lost. And this contact can only be established during comfortable and fun communication.
When you write down your schedule, remember to leave time for general rest, for communication with your husband, for playing with your child. Nothing will happen if you eat instant porridge for dinner one evening. A woman can make her schedule easier and do more with the help of some concessions to herself.
3. Sometimes take time only for yourself
Thoughts like “I’m a bad mother” or “I’m not doing well at home” negatively affect all aspects of life. Too many live with imposed beliefs about what a good mom and wife should do. And if she allows herself to spend time with a friend or go away to rest alone, then she catches condemning glances on herself, faces criticism. Remember that everyone has their own supply of strength and energy. Feel free to do good things for yourself. Constant deprivation leads to the fact that relations in the family deteriorate, the woman has health problems, and the child's academic performance deteriorates. And all the money earned is spent on treatment, and the time is spent on somehow restoring the relationship. Our strength is our happiness.
Yes, if a woman goes to work, she can no longer constantly make delicious breakfasts in the morning or read fairy tales to children for an hour every evening. This is important to accept. As well as the fact that the dishes and cleaning can sometimes wait. Better to spend this time talking with your family. This does not mean that there will be mountains of garbage around. This means that you, for example, will have a day when you are all cleaning the apartment together. And the day when you go shopping together. These things shouldn't be your only responsibility. Thinking about yourself, you will do more, and this will make the whole family feel happy.
Your business and family: how to combine?
Today, young girls manage to run their own business, projects, business and at the same time be a good mother and wife. How do they do it? It turns out that they have their own secrets, which they willingly share.
1. Each sphere should have its own time
There are very few such examples when a freelance mother successfully combines her work with looking after children running around the house. When you are distracted, when you have to do something at the same time at work and look after the children, it becomes much more difficult to focus on a specific task. Because of this time, much more is spent on it than necessary. What could be done in silence in 20 minutes is done in an hour and a half.
You should have such time that you only spend on work. Yes, you will have to spend some time not with your child (perhaps because of this you even have to work on your feelings of guilt), but if you completely focus on your work tasks, you can complete them much faster. And then - to invest the free time in the family. For example, you have 2 hours to work in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon and 3 in the evening. And you must always adhere to this rule: clearly delineate all areas. And this applies not only to work and family. There can be many spheres. This is sports, and communication with friends, and self-care. A woman needs to understand that if she is now with children, then she is without documents, without messages, without calls. And if it works, then it is only at work. Because if you are distracted, it is impossible to do something quickly and efficiently - everything has its time.
2. Maximum optimization and delegation
If you are a leader and live with the conviction that you can cope with everything better than anyone else, that any work entrusted to someone else will still have to be redone, it will not do you any good. You will always feel out of place. These problems need to be worked out in order to learn to accept help from other people and thereby unload yourself. Otherwise, all your days will be crazy, you will crawl home and feel miserable. In the end, you will no longer understand why you need this job.
You need to leave your favorite and important things to yourself. What can be included in the functions of a leader? Strategic development of the company, work with the PR department, with the admin staff, motivational work with top management. Everything else must be passed on. The part that cannot be delegated, you do to the maximum. So that everything is clear, understandable, structured. Without unnecessary searches and wasting time. Spending less time on unnecessary tasks can help you maintain a balance between family and work.
3. Particular attention to rest and recovery
Any person needs to recuperate. Remember that being in a resourceful state is very important. You need to be rested, contented life, energetic. Your energy, a well-functioning head is the path to success in all areas. If you feel like a squeezed lemon and go to your goals with the last bit of strength, the quality of life will decline more and more every day. Everyone feels your mood - both people at work and family members. If you are a leader, if you have your own business, this is all the more important. You must give people motivation and energy, inspire them to conquer the heights. And for this it is important to be able to recover.
If there is enough energy for everything, then you can quite successfully combine family and work. Find your source of energy. Perhaps it's a sport or a conversation with a close friend. Or time spent alone with yourself. What will help you energize?
We all have different schedules and tasks. Various problems, psychological attitudes and life circumstances. But it is important for everyone to understand the following: in order to keep up with everything and maintain balance in different areas, you need to start taking care of yourself, stop being afraid to do something imperfectly and accurately follow the decisions made.
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