You need to be able to refuse, not to refuse - this will help you to be calm and confident in yourself.

In the life of every person there is a situation when a familiar, a boss or a colleague asks about something. However, neither desire, nor time, nor ability to fulfill the request - simply not, but it is very difficult to refuse to the other person. In such situations, it is necessary to be able to correctly and respectfully refute that in the next communication with this person you will not be surprised and reprimanded.  

In order to develop the ability to reliably render in the service it is necessary, in the first place, to use it for reasons of the inherent lack of need, and just like fat Read on. 

The habit of saying "yes": why is it bad to be safe at work? 

The habit of saying "yes": why is it bad to be safe at work?


Failure is a disease of its own kind. Breeding uncertainty, weakness, lack of proper attitudes.

  • Roots of the disease under the name "safety" start from adolescents and children.
  • Since childhood, many parents teach their children to help around the house, and all kind of help is often used exclusively in the power supply.
  • The child gets used to the fact that unpleasant work or unexpected tasks must be done through "I do not want" .
  • The same situation is observed in adolescent age. In order to join the team or not to stand out, one has to go to the many sacrifices for a while, in order to pursue one's own desires and interests in favor of those who are sure or have received the celebrity
  • Gradually, the safety of life passes into adulthood, getting through not only in communication with other people, but also at work.


To define this awful habit in cebe to say only "yes" is not so difficult. As with any mental illness, the "safety" has its own specific activities:

  • In the absence of safety, one may wish to fulfill the wishes of people in the hope of placing them to himself.
  • Failure to calculate one's own strength or deliberate ignoring of personal resources in order to fulfill the needs of others.
  • Systematic suppression of personal preferences and views for the sake of participation in activities for someone else's request.
  • Lofty and often unrealistic requirements for yourself
  • The motivation for the fulfillment of requests / assignments is often the unwillingness to enter into a conflict with the forgiver.
  • Exceeding the feelings of other people to the detriment of their emotional comfort. 

As can be seen from these considerations, lack of confidence is a breeding of uncertainty in oneself, weakness, inability to correctly evaluate the power and the best, the best, the best Why is it bad to be safe at work?

  • Reliability creates the most convenient people for the society. However, in this case, the emotional, physical and mental comfort of a particular personality goes on a second plan. This is the biggest problem.
  • People who are comfortable for the society are uncommon. He has nothing of his own, he constantly finds himself under pressure and stress, accumulating inside himself a destructive mixture of inadequacy, grievances and guilt.
  • A long stay in such a state negatively affects not only mental health, but also physical.

Weakness, rapid fatigue, insanity, weakening of the immune system and diseases that appear on this background - all this is far from being a complete list of things that can be expected for a long time.

Is it possible to cancel the proposed work, the order: it is important to be able to cancel 

It often happens that uncomfortable problems catch people exactly at work. Change a colleague because of some vital livings, take extra work, complete some project, go out into your exit, postpone the trip.  

So is it possible to cancel the proposed job or order?

  • Yes, it is possible - it is important to be able to refuse.
  • Prevailing a feeling of guilt, fear of offending the interlocutor, safety about money and the further impression of the other person, you need to know your position.
  • If the proposed work is a burden and does not fit into the plans, in principle it delivers discomfort, then it is better not to torment and refuse.


Again, this is important precisely for the comfortable being of a particular personality. Taking the job, the person condemns himself not only for additional workloads, but also for additional responsibility, stress, additional expectations for the days of the current

For greater confidence in one's own right, in this case, it is better to look at the people around them and their attitude to requests and refusals. Because, for sure, there were situations when the one who appeared now in the place of the emperor himself refused to whom he asked or to someone else. Did he experience any threats of conscience? Are you afraid to offend or mislead you? Did you suffer from the fact that you did not take on yourself too much? Hardly. 

  • Therefore, it is never worth fighting to hurt someone's feelings or betray someone's trust.
  • Anyway, everyone should sort out their own problems.
  • Such a logical one is to be a leader in relation to work.
  • If this is really not necessary, if there is a feeling that such a work or additional load is not a matter of a worry, then it is better not to torment and just refuse.


In this way, it was possible to save yourself and your health without problems. It is better to leave the additional work to the one who really needs it and the one who is really ready to perform it without prejudice for himself.

What to do if there is no inhalation? 

Very often a situation arises when there is a job or a good order, but any attempts to fulfill it will only result in irritation or completely unsuccessful results. The reasons for this kazuca lie precisely in the absence of inspiration, or, as it is sometimes accepted to call it, in a creative crisis. Sooner or later, this kind of "curse" hits every tough person. In some genus, it can even be called natural, but in no case does it mean that you need to put all the brakes on.

The key words of a solid crisis are:

  • Loss of faith in oneself and in one's strength, ability and ability
  • Oppressed and suppressed state
  • Lack of inspiration, desire to create and new ideas
  • Endless displeasure in the results of the work done
  • Unwillingness to continue creative activities


There are several effective ways to get out of a hard crisis. What to do if there is no inhalation?

  • Before taking any decisions in relation to the project and the continuation of participation in it, it is worth trying to rehab with the help of fast and accessible means and means.
  • For a start, it is worth trying the most banal - rest. To continue your activity, you just need to have good fun, switch attention, get new impressions, just get it.
  • A simple routine is so powerful that it is simply impossible to create. Therefore, it is important for any creature to periodically arrange for yourself a good rest.
  • Also, playing sports, communicating with other writing people and doing something not typical helps to overcome a hard crisis. Like to sit at home - it is worth getting out in the open or in a crowded place.
  • You can try a new kitchen, a new restaurant, visit an interesting place, read a new book or re-read an old one. 

There is simply a mass of options for obtaining new impressions that every person can test. If all the while overcome a hard crisis did not occur, then it is worth considering the option of refusal from work or order. In the case of such a source, it is important to very correctly, politely and accurately determine the reason for your refusal.

Reasonably, the unpleasantness from the side of the neighbor to avoid will be extremely difficult, but it is not worthwhile to fight someone. All the same, it is better to honestly say and trust the work of someone who can do it right, than to suffer, in the following it will give out a very good result, which will be

How to correctly refuse, without refusing: the technique of polite refusal, methods

As has already been considered above, the ability to reject is a very important skill for everyone. However, it is clear to any person that it is very difficult to start saying “No” all at once, if before this person has been pursuing an active policy of “safety”. The inability to literally deny the relationship with the person and does not want to let go, calling back with a strong sense of guilt and discomfort. Therefore, it is very important to learn to give up gradually, choosing a suitable model of behavior in the right situation. So, how to correctly reject, not rejecting? 

You can use such methods to tell the pronouncing “no” - this is a polite refusal technique:

  • No hurry with the answer, first say "no"

Before you answer someone's request, you have to take a little pause or just say a firm "no". You can also ask your interlocutor to repeat the request again, thus taking more time to make a decision.


  • Don't apologize to too many

Repeated apologies several times lose their meaning. It is necessary to apologize only in cases that are reasonable for this. With everyone who says "sorry", the feeling of guilt before the progresses is increasing hardly in the geometrical progression.

  • Be lucid

It is necessary to reject it briefly, but at this it is not worth forgetting about the courtesy.

  • "Mirror" behavior of the interlocutor

In this case, it is worth mirroring the behavior and the request of the interlocutor, ending it with a polite refusal.

  • Technique zaezzhennoy plate

At frequent repetitions of trying to do something, it is also worth refusing often, ignoring the pressure from the side of the passing.

  • Explain the reason for the refusal

If a simple "No" is not sufficient for a refusal, then you can briefly outline the reasons why the request of the other person cannot be fulfilled.

  • Offer to execute the request in a different time

The refusal given here and now does not mean that the request will not be fulfilled in another time.

  • Ask for more information

This case is not a complete failure, but the opportunity to discuss the current situation with a partner in order to find a solution, which is convenient for both of them, or a perfect completion. 

  • Take time to make a decision

It is important to value one's own time and strength, therefore it is necessary to take time to weigh all the "for" and "against".

How to respond politely to a refusal in cooperation?


It is very important even in the refusal to remain a cultured and polite person, if, of course, you do not plan to completely turn away from yourself. Polite refusal in a simple way is normal and natural behavior. Not all the pleas of the people are to be immediately gratified. Therefore, when refusing, the person does not do anything wrong or wrong.

For a polite refusal, you can act according to the following algorithm:

  • Listen carefully to the interlocutor. In this way, those who are not indifferent to the problem of the lying person and his percents will be demonstrated.
  • Ask for time to think it over, if in this situation it is not possible to formulate arguments regularly and quickly.
  • To evaluate all the pros and cons of cooperation with an ordinary person. If a person does not fit according to some criteria, then it is better to refuse cooperation as soon as possible, do not be afraid of hurting someone's feelings.
  • Report the refusal to the requestor, giving specific reasons for the refusal.
  • To complete the negotiations with the gift of charity and, possibly, with a polite remark about the fact that it is a pity that this person does not fit in this project.
  • If you need to keep good relations with the child, and leave the opportunity to involve him in cooperation in some other project, it is worth hinting that there is a little 

How to respond politely to a refusal in cooperation?

  • Following this algorithm, most likely of all, it will not be possible to offend a person with a refusal, however, in this case, remain at home.
  • The one who is lying with the least likelihood will develop a feeling of resentment and anger, since his request was listened to, considered and healthily appreciated. Well, a refusal, sooner all, will simply be attributed to the will of the case. You can answer: "Of course, no problem."
  • Plus, the reasoned refusal is likely to help the one who is asking for it by making him review his behavior and tinker with the identified gaps.

In conclusion, it should be said that in the refusal, there really is nothing bad, since the innocence makes a person neglect their own interests for the time being. Failure to fail leads to self-destruction, which, in turn, gives rise to many other problems. Take care of yourself and your health!

Video: How to say no?