How competently, culturally and politely to refuse a person a loan of money without offending him: words, phrases, dialogue

There is a proverb that says that if you give a loan to a relative, it means losing him. Everything related to financial issues often spoils the relationship between friends and even relatives. In this article, we will tell you how to refuse a person and not ruin your relationship with him. 

How competently, culturally and politely to refuse a person a loan of money without offending him: words, phrases, dialogue

This can be done quite simply, but some people need to be rejected abruptly and in any way so that they lose the desire to come to you next time to borrow money. These are usually people who often borrow money. Their main problem is that they simply do not know how to manage them and spend much more than they earn. The fact is that for such people, spending more than they earn is the norm. Therefore, from month to month they are gaining new debts. They can return them from a salary or an advance payment, upon receipt of funds. But then, after a quick waste of salaries, they borrow money again. To prevent this from happening, just refuse people. 

Several ways to refuse:

  • Say that you also wanted to borrow today, because you spent a lot on holidays and birthdays of your relatives.
  • Tell them that you have started repairs and that you are going to buy building materials tomorrow, so you have no money.
  • It is necessary to repay the loan or return the amount of money taken as collateral. You are going to do it tomorrow, so you cannot borrow money today.
  • All the money is from the spouse, and it is difficult to beg from him or her.
  • Tell them that you are going on a trip to another country, so you need the money yourself.
  • Tell your wife that you are going to buy an expensive fur coat or jewelry, so there is no money.
  • Remind me if this person has already taken money from you, but did not return it. Tell him that you will not give him until he returns the previous amount of money borrowed.


How not to offend a person? There are several ways you can help you maintain a good relationship with a friend or family member while refusing to lend.


  • Say that you can take money from a certain bank. Advise a specific bank that gives money at a small percentage.
  • Say that you would love to borrow, but only now you yourself have very bad money, so there is no way to lend.
  • Offer the person to help. For example, take him somewhere, if he asks for money for a taxi, or give him food. Buy a minimum of products or offer assistance with purchasing. Usually, eternal debtors who constantly borrow money want to get their hands on cash. Therefore, they reject all offers, such as how to give a lift or help with groceries.
  • Advise the person a website or an additional part-time job, where you can get money, immediately after doing some work.


A colleague constantly asks for help - how to delicately and correctly refuse: examples of polite forms of refusal

There is a saying that initiative is punishable. Quite often, people who help their employees at work get the most tired and do the most tasks. And not always those who received it to them. 

Refusal options:

  • If you don't want to constantly do work for someone else, learn to refuse. If a colleague at work constantly asks you for help, do not sharply refuse. Do it gently, say what you think or refuse in such a way that your colleague wants to feel sorry for you. Say that you have a lot of work today, you have a monthly report and you will most likely stay in the office after work to finish the assigned work.
  • In addition, you can say that you took time off today, so you are interested in getting the job done as soon as possible. Therefore, you cannot help, tell your work colleague that you have accumulated a lot of things for today, because you did not finish it yesterday because you left earlier, I am taking time off from work. Today you have a complete blockage and there is no way you can help.
  • Learn to say NO, because many people misalign their working hours. Very often they shift their work to others. If you refuse several times, then most likely they will no longer seek help. This will help free you from doing someone else's work.


In order not to offend a person, adhere to certain rules:

  • Answer quickly. There is no need to postpone the answer until later.
  • Try to explain the reason for the refusal. Do not make excuses in any way, just tell them that you have a busy schedule and you are not able to do someone else's work.
  • Offer something in return. You can direct a colleague to a specific resource or reset the report form that you completed last month. Perhaps this will somehow help a colleague. 

Be sure to supplement your answer with the following phrases:


Sorry that I can't

Thank you for asking me for help.

I am very pleased to work with you, but unfortunately I cannot help you.

I really like helping you, but unfortunately this time I won't be able to


A friend constantly asks for help - how to gently and tactfully refuse: examples of polite forms of refusal

Many of the friends like to keep their friends near them, who never refuse and try to help as much as possible. This is very convenient, but very often, if such people are rejected, then the friendship ends. Because they are selfish people. If you are tired of fulfilling constant requests, and how to receive friendship as a reward, you can correctly refuse. After a few rejections, the person will not want to be friends with you. If he is not a real friend, but uses you, then you will thus get rid of the friend who bothers you and you spend a huge amount of time and effort on such a friendship. 

If the person is really dear to you, you do not want to offend him, try to politely explain why you refuse him.


  1. I can't help you today, because I'm busy tonight
  2. I have plans next week, so I can't go to the party with you.

 If a friend asks you to take something to revile, tell me what you washed or it was torn from you. But in this case, you will have to no longer wear it in front of a friend. You can also gently refuse if a friend asks you for some jewelry, or something from things, a clutch, a bag. Tell them that you are going to put on this jewelry yourself today, so you cannot give it to be vilified. 


How to correctly refuse a trip without offending a person?

Many employees of companies work with clients, and spend most of their time in meetings, as well as having a cup of coffee, discussing work moments. If for some reason you cannot come or think that this client will be useless to you, will not be able to use your services, you can politely refuse. In this case, it must be said that you have a high workload and you will not be able to come. If you still think that in the future this person may become your potential client, write a few questions and ask the person to answer these questions, motivate that you want to better understand and explain what you do, what you are interested in.


If this is some kind of business trip, and the management did not find anyone better than to send you on this trip, and for some reason you don’t want to go, you can correctly refuse. It is difficult enough to refuse the management, but it is possible.

The options are:

  • Motivate this by the fact that you have children and there will be no one to pick them up from school or kindergarten.
  • Tell that your parents are sick and need supervision. You visit them daily.
  • Remind your supervisor that he has instructed you to complete the report by the end of the week, and unfortunately you will not be able to go on a business trip because of this report.
  • You can refuse to travel if you do not have a passport or it is expired. This will work if you are being sent to another country.
  • If the company pays travel allowances after the trip, explain that you have no extra money. You need to pay a loan or mortgage, you spent all the money. Therefore, you do not have extra funds for the trip. 

How beautiful, inoffensive, intelligent to deny people their requests: advice, recommendations, examples

Of course, very often after refusals, people do not want to communicate, or they cut down on possible communication. But you should not be upset, because you will have really good friends and decent acquaintances who are used to not using people, but to be friends with them. You shouldn't refuse harshly enough if you feel sympathy for the person and plan to communicate with him. Try to be as correct as possible, benevolent, ask for forgiveness. Say that, unfortunately, you are unable to lend frequently due to financial difficulties.


Ask for forgiveness, and also say that you value the communication with this person. If this is your good colleague who really helps you often, but due to circumstances you cannot help him, explain the situation. Say that you value his help, knowledge and would be happy to help, but unfortunately, in this situation you cannot do it.

Here are some phrases to help you mitigate rejection:

  • I see that it is not at all easy for you, but unfortunately, I cannot solve your problem.
  • I am very sorry that this happened, but unfortunately I cannot help.
  • I really want to help you, but I can't, because I have planned dinner with my beloved for tomorrow.
  • Unfortunately, I am now unable to answer with consent, because on the weekend I will be busy.
  • I need to think, I can tell you later. 

The last option is only suitable for people who are waiting for an answer now. They cannot wait, so in the evening or the next day they simply will not turn. You can refuse using a compromise.

For example:

  • I will help you if you help me.
  • I will help you make your presentation, but only on Saturday from 10:00 to 12:00. It is this time that I will have free.

You can also refuse diplomatically. Diplomats usually never say yes or no. They say: let's talk about it or discuss it.

For example, do not refuse abruptly, but tell me, I can help you in some other way. Unfortunately, I can't help you now, but I have an acquaintance or friend who might want to help you. 

As you can see, it is quite easy to refuse a person. The main challenge is not to offend him. If you are interested in friendship, in communication with this person, try to refuse as politely as possible, or offer something in return. It is possible to offer your help in some other way.