We all want to feel needed and important, but the constant need for recognition from others can negatively affect your self-esteem.
Likes on social media, compliments and a friendly pat on the shoulder are all very nice things. And it's perfectly okay to seek approval from others from time to time. But there comes a point where it becomes a habit - and that's when it’s important to take a step back and admit that you don’t need someone’s praise to feel good.
When we don't trust ourselves, we look to others for approval. We begin to trust their opinion more than our own, and this painfully affects our self-esteem and ability to make decisions on our own.
The good news, however, is that you can make a difference and learn how to build trust and confidence. Read on for tips on how to stop seeking approval from others and start giving it to yourself.
1. Change the voice in your head from evil to good
The worst critics we face are ourselves. If you're used to talking to yourself in a critical, judgmental, or harsh way, it will undermine your self-confidence.
Start tracking unpleasant thoughts and note how they affect your emotional state. Work to replace harsh thoughts with more positive reflections that will cheer you up and make you feel good.
2.Surround yourself with nice people
A strong need for approval can arise when you are surrounded by people who do not give you support and who cannot be relied on. Think of your toxic judge friends or that Tinder guy who didn't answer you.
These people make you feel insecure and fight for approval, which is why it is so important that in your social circle there is at least one person who supports you and is ready to cheer you up in difficult times.
3.Try to understand why you seek approval
Understanding why you are constantly seeking approval from others can make it easier to eliminate this behavior. Before reaching out to others for praise, stop and ask yourself, "Why don't I trust my own opinion on this matter?"
You may find yourself looking for approval because you are unsure of something, or you need it because you want someone else to love or accept you. Understanding the motive behind your need for approval is an important step in overcoming it.
4.Start recording your five daily achievements
You can also use this advice to boost your self-confidence: Before you go to bed, write down five things you've done that day - no matter how small or big.
For example, if you've walked the dog, called your brother, answered an unpleasant email, or vacuumed your apartment - literally write down anything you've crossed out from your to-do list. This simple trick works because you shift your focus to what you did successfully, rather than to what you failed to do, like people who lack self-confidence do.
These lists will also serve as a personal reminder that you are doing great, even if sometimes you don’t think so.
5. Make sure your goals are realistic
The best way to feel more confident is to set achievable goals for yourself. We often place too high hopes on ourselves, and when they fail, we usually feel frustrated and discouraged. Set yourself up for success instead.
Come up with small, realistic goals that you know you can achieve, and gradually increase the rates. Example? First, promise yourself to walk eight thousand steps every two days, not ten thousand steps every day.
6.Take a break from social media
Sometimes we all need a little break from social media overstimulation. Try to focus on other things (like writing a resume or reading a new book) to help relax your mind.
Remember that social media is a dangerous trigger for the urge to get approval from others. In them, we find ourselves in a state of constant comparison with others, knowing that someone has "thousands of likes", and we need the same in order to consider ourselves successful.
What's the problem with this online popularity chase? The fact that, without reaching the desired level of fame, you may feel unnecessary and even more begin to seek approval from others.
7.Learn to accept yourself for who you are
Another key tip: don't worry about what other people think, but instead focus solely on what makes you happy. It can be tough to accept every facet of yourself, but this is where building confidence begins.
By accepting ourselves as we are, we find that we no longer need the approval or participation of others, because we know the truth about ourselves, and that's enough for us.
8. Try not to compare yourself to others.
The best way to shake your confidence? Start comparing yourself to others. So instead of comparing yourself to your siblings, people on the Internet or colleagues, try to find a balance between being grateful for what you have and at the same time thinking about what else you would like to achieve. ...
The main thing is, do not try to achieve perfection - it is unrealistic! Just be the best version of yourself.
9. Learn to accept your mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes says or does something wrong. And the chances of it increase tenfold when you try something new and step outside your comfort zone. So try to come to terms with it.
Remind yourself that we all make mistakes, even people who seem perfect. Experience comes through mistakes, and it helps us gain confidence through practice.
10. Realize your positive traits
In order to stop seeking approval from others, it is very helpful to ask yourself the questions that make us strong. Focus on what you are doing well on your own and what you have already achieved.
Ask yourself, "What am I most proud of?" or "What brings me joy?" Answering these questions can help build your self-esteem and boost your self-confidence. If you find it difficult to find the answer yourself, ask someone you trust to answer these questions for you.
While this may seem like a search for external confirmation, this approach helps those with low self-esteem see themselves in a more positive light.
11. Be kind to yourself
It takes a lot of work and self-care to break bad habits, reach goals, start talking to yourself lovingly, and generally accept that you don't need someone else's approval to feel good. So go ahead and enjoy this positive vibe!
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