Freedom or loneliness? Which of these words is more appropriate to describe the absence of a romantic relationship in a woman's life? It turns out that everything depends on how she herself relates to this and how she behaves in this situation!
Human behavior can tell a lot. A woman who does not need a relationship makes her intentions clear to those around her with her whole appearance. Let's draw a portrait of a free woman!
1. Frequently discusses the value of freedom
It is very important for her to do everything in her own way and not depend on other people's requirements or desires. In conversations with someone, she continually mentions that she values her independence more than anything in the world and will not exchange it for anything. The very idea that someone can control her actions or forbid something to her causes a lot of negative emotions in her.
2. Not happy for married friends
She is not delighted when she hears that one of her friends is getting married or finds out about their pregnancy. And this is not out of envy - she just prioritizes completely different things and cannot bring herself to talk about how wonderful the marriage or the birth of a child is.
3. Remembers his failures
She often recalls that her previous relationship did not work out . And she doesn't need this anymore - it is much better not to have a romantic relationship at all, so as not to be disappointed and not lamentable because of unjustified expectations. Another option - she is sure that she will no longer be able to love. She is haunted by the memories of her ex, which makes her yearn and endlessly compare all potential partners with him. In any case, she does not want a new relationship.
4. Always very busy
While someone cannot live a day without a relationship, a woman who does not need a man does not even think about romance - she is busy with other things. She is not alone with herself, and she can always find something interesting to do for herself. Books, movies, music, walking with friends or alone - all this fascinates her much more than romance.
5. Devaluates relationships
She speaks ironically about someone's love experiences or a showdown. For her, all these showdowns and tears are a waste of time. She prefers to spend her time on more useful, in her opinion, things.
Is this good or bad? And do you need to try to change yourself if everyone around you wants to impose their opinion on you that you need to prioritize relationships?
The answer “good” is appropriate if there is no problem behind the reluctance to enter into a relationship - the woman consciously chose freedom and independence. Everyone has the right to live as he wants, and no one’s opinion in this case should become a reason to change himself and his life.
If freedom and independence are just a mask that hides fears and worries, then there is no need to talk about the correctness of the chosen position. In fact, the woman desperately wants a relationship, but unresolved problems prevent her from fulfilling her desire.
The reasons for which nothing works can be very different:
- getting stuck in past relationships
- negative experience,
- fear of not coping with difficulties.
And if a woman has a hard time admitting that she has problems, if she is not ready to accept that she is lonely, she will act as if life without relationships is completely fine with her. This will not lead to anything good - all masks sooner or later fall off, and unmet needs over time begin to negatively affect the quality of life.
I do not want to get married! Why?
“Men pay attention to me, and I never give them a phone number, I don't go on a date with them, what's wrong with me?” - single women often ask this question.
Julia Lanske, the # 1 Love Coach in the world according to the international iDate Awards 2019, talks about why some women are so afraid of relationships, and explains how to fix it.
The reason lies, most likely, in a distorted view of the family, of the institution of marriage and of relationships as such. As they say, we all come from childhood. Problems are also from there. What does it mean? The woman who rejects romance may have lived in a family where the parents had a very difficult relationship. She constantly saw only unsuccessful relationships and nothing else. If parents constantly swear, if their every day is filled with quarrels and negative emotions, the child learns that the family is complete chaos.
Another example is when there is no dad in the family. The child does not know how to live differently and what is it like to live with dad? How is it when there is someone else on the territory? Mom used to do everything in her own way. So why build something together if you can live the way you want? The parental script leaves such a deep imprint that a person either runs away from it, or makes it his own life.
Another reason is unsuccessful relationships in the past. For example, a woman was married, and then the relationship went wrong. If everything started out great and then turned into a serious traumatic situation, she may begin to panic fear of falling into similar circumstances again. She does not want to experience this pain again, and relationships become a taboo topic for her.
The third reason is the unsuccessful relationship of friends. In addition to this, a woman herself can be very selective and aware. She has never been married, and she has a whole set of criteria that her chosen one must meet. All friends are married, but none of them has a harmonious relationship scenario. One drags on her children, the other - children and her husband, the third drags no one, but her husband does not care about her, he always disappears somewhere and does not pay attention to her. Girlfriends come, complain, pour out their souls, and she thinks: “This is the family? Is this what the relationship is about? Why do I need all this? Why do I need these problems? "
And finally, the fourth reason. The woman became the director or president of the company. She gets high, enjoys life, lives for herself, lives to the fullest. And she has no idea what it is when there is a man nearby, and why she needs it. How is it - to share everything with a man and coordinate everything with him. She cannot even imagine that in the morning, for example, she will have to make someone coffee. She is happy with her life, enjoys this state of affairs, and she is afraid to change something. What if her business collapses? What if she feels uncomfortable with her partner? And she pushes relationships away from herself, postpones everything for later. Such women may want relationships, constantly think about them, but still not give themselves the opportunity to enter into them.
So, know: the problem definitely exists if you, pushing the relationship away from yourself, feel discomfort, understand that this is still not the life that you need. Even this life, to some extent, seems to you the most wonderful (and you comfort yourself with the fact that you have a job, children, favorite cats or something else). You still really want to meet a person with whom you will exchange energy at all levels: spiritual, mental, intellectual, emotional, physiological.
I want but I can not
If you suddenly decide that the absence of a relationship is equal to loneliness, and suddenly you realize that you need to change something, do not wait for the right opportunity - start right now.
Start your journey to a happy marriage with these rules, and you will definitely start attracting successful men and quality relationships into your life.
- Look for a partner much stronger than yourself. Yes, you need to marry for love. But who said that this is enough? A necessary condition is love, and a sufficient condition is a man who is stronger, smarter, wiser. He has already been realized and is on a higher level than you. If you allow a man to be stronger, you will gain his respect. And thanks to this, you will find balance.
- Decide on the places where you can meet a man for a happy marriage. What are these places? Territory for men's hobbies (horse club, shooting club, parachutes, golf, fishing), offices, conferences, trainings, private events, concerts, fitness clubs.
- Give up the negative scenario. What do you broadcast as a woman so that a man will pay attention to you and want to approach you? Pull yourself out of the paradigm of a single woman who considers everyone else unworthy. Change, show the man his importance. And most importantly, transform yourself into the state of a woman-wife. Such a woman has the property of being seductive, but only for her man.
Whatever you choose: loneliness or marriage, be happy and enjoy life!
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