7-year crisis: what is it and how to help a child

 The nervousness and stress of your child directly depends on his new social status - the status of a student.

The child experiences his first life crisis at the age of three. We have already talked about this, so if you want to know in more detail what makes a baby nervous at 3 years old and how to solve this problem, then you are here . 

Today we will talk about the crisis for 7 years. In this case, the nervousness and stress of your child directly depends on his new social status - the status of a student. Which is logical, because before that the child's leading activity was play, but now it has almost been displaced by educational.

Such changes are not easy - the thinking, organism and psyche of the seven-year plan are gradually being rebuilt under the consciousness of the student. 

1. Waiting against reality

From preschoolers you can often hear how they dream of becoming adults as soon as possible. As a child, we ourselves believed that being an adult is great (at least you can go to bed when you want, not when you need to). However, as they get older, the child realizes that being an adult is not all that fun. 

The moment that often provokes a negative attitude towards adulthood is the phrase: "You are already an adult, therefore...".

Parents start repeating this "mantra" to their first-graders almost from September 1 (or even earlier). So, in the opinion of moms and dads, their child will better understand that now he also bears responsibility for himself and must learn not only to read and write, but also to build his own schedule - to do homework on time, for example. Otherwise, he will have to sacrifice games or walks. Such restrictions will drive anyone into apathy, and even more so for a first-grader.

This is, of course, a very conditional example. Not all families treat responsibility in this way. There are always other variations. But with such a sketch, we wanted to show how the child's world is changing and what affects the fact that the changes are seen in a negative way. 

2. Signs of crisis 7 years

For a seven-year-old, going from kindergarten to school is stressful. No wonder first graders start to protest. In particular, this is why the crisis of 7 years is also called the “mini-teenager” crisis. A child at this age is no longer as malleable to persuasion and parental manipulation as at 3 years old. His dissatisfaction, as well as attempts to defend himself and his children's freedom can become a real headache for parents, if these changes are not noticed in time and do not begin to work through them. 

There are at least 12 signs that your 7-year-old is in crisis:

• is often rude;
• argues for any reason;
• refuses to comply with requests;
• breaks toys, says that he is tired of them or does not need them;
• grimaces, speaks not in a natural voice;
• mimics adults;
• ultimately asks to buy him modern gadgets;
• his mood changes dramatically;
• takes offense when criticized;
• begins to take an interest in adult affairs;
• enters into a conversation with adults on his own initiative;
• takes on responsibilities that he is not yet capable of.

3. How the crisis of 7 years manifests itself in boys and girls

It would be strange to say that absolutely all children experience this age crisis in the same way. Of course not. Everything is very individual. Much depends on the temperament of your child and your relationship with him. 

Of course, we will not be able to consider each case (for obvious reasons), but we can tell you how in most cases the crisis of 7 years manifests itself in girls and boys. 

Boys strive to show that they are the bravest, the strongest and the best in everything. For this reason, they begin to behave aggressively, compete with everyone and bully both classmates and adults. 

How to communicate

To help their young warrior and protector cope with the surging emotions, parents need to give him the opportunity to throw out energy where it is possible and necessary. For example, give it to the sports section. It is also important to always support the first grader, celebrate his achievements and noble impulses. Parents shouldn't be shy about showing their pride in their son. It will do him good (now and then). 

As for girls, they, on the contrary, at school can be very obedient and calm. All the tantrums and scandals are brought home by first-graders along with textbooks and notebooks. Also, girls, unlike boys, more often fight with each other for the teacher's attention.

How to communicate

When communicating with a young schoolgirl, an emphasis should be placed on praise, moms and dads must necessarily celebrate the achievements of their daughter and not criticize her. 

4. How parents should not behave 

Despite the different manifestations of the crisis in children, the actions of parents in all cases should be equally sensitive and careful. In no case should you pretend that nothing is happening and think that the child will be able to cope with the crisis on his own. The first grader is definitely not ready for this. 

But it is also not worth it to be very zealous with care and a desire to protect your child from all the experiences in the world. Yes, the task for parents is not an easy one, but you can cope with it.

Here are some tips to help you do it right:

• Do not try to "spread straws"
• Do not overload with mugs, sections after school
• Don't push the child
• Do not criticize
• Don't ignore your son or daughter's school problems when they share their concerns
• Do not scold or ridicule his desire for "adulthood" and actions
• Don't talk badly about teachers and other parents in front of your child
• Don't compare him to other children.
• Do not physically punish disobedience
• Do not tire by talking about how "he is already quite an adult"

5. How to help a child cope with a crisis 7 years old

It's easy to support a first grader. The main thing is not to let him feel that since he is now an adult, then mom and dad have changed their attitude towards him. 

1. Support and let the child show independence where he can and wants to do it. 
2. Help build self-confidence
3. Talk to him about the topics he asks
4. Listen carefully, don't interrupt or make fun of
5. Embrace your child's personality
6. Leave time for games
7. Have fun and fool around together
8. Help with homework if the child asks for it
9. Hug and kiss

The crisis of 7 years and adaptation to school is a temporary phenomenon (like all crises). Parents need to stock up on support and understanding, often put themselves in the shoes of their child. 

In general, watch your first grader more than interfere, and you will understand that your baby has turned into an interesting seven-year-old person with his own unique and curious opinion.