7 things only bad parents do (they are harmless at first glance)

 Check yourself, perhaps you are unconsciously doing some of these actions.

1. Slap on the ass 

In most civilized countries, any violence against children (even slaps on the butt and slaps on the head) is prohibited at the legislative level. And Russia is no exception. Of course, any mom or dad wants their child to listen to the first time and immediately run to do what they tell him. But upbringing is not an army, and you need to understand that a child also has his own desires.

The job of good parents is to build relationships in such a way that the son or daughter listens to their opinion, and not just fear of physical violence. After all, fear and respect are completely different things. And intimidation works only on the effect of a compressed spring, which someday will fire so that you will not be well.  

2. Walk with the child when it suits them 

Children who run around the playground screaming after nine in the evening are jokingly called "cortisolators" by intelligent mothers. This is because, according to the norms, the child must fit into a night's sleep from seven to nine in the evening. If this does not happen, the allowable waking time increases , the stress hormone cortisol is released, which helps the tomboy to continue to be active.

The more time passes, the more the nervous system becomes overexcited, and the child cannot calm down. Even falling asleep, the processes of arousal do not stop, and the baby wakes up moody and not rested. But this is unaware of moms and dads who really want to take a walk in the evening with friends and are in no way ready to part with their lifestyle for the sake of the peace of their beloved child.  

3. Control every step 

These parents try to be good and even perfect. They know all the friends of their child by last name and address, and at the school meeting they act as leaders of the parent committee. Usually, such moms and dads secretly view their child's profile on Instagram, because they picked up the password and login from all social networks, as well as the password for his smartphone. 

Yes, they love their son or daughter very much. But their concern goes beyond all boundaries, including personal ones. And if at some point in time such control is simply boring, then years later it can turn into hatred and renunciation. 

4. They impose the opinion that the child owes them 

Such parents believe that since they gave birth to a child, it means that he will be obliged to them up to the grave of his life. And in every way they try to remind about it. Another option. Mom and Dad divorced, and now they believe that raising a child, they "gave up their whole life." But years later, their child is unlikely to say "thank you" for such. Rather, as in the previous example, they will hate for an unhappy childhood, in which only the baby was to blame for everything. 

5. Comparing the child to other children 

Often from such parents you can hear the phrases: "But Petya is a better student", "But Masha gave her mother a gift for this." Such unconscious manipulations put an end to self-esteem and any motivation of the child. Psychologists are sure: you should never draw a parallel between your children and strangers - you need to compare only with them yesterday. After all, there will always be someone who will be more successful, richer and more beautiful. 

6. Do not allow self-expression 

Often these parents are unhappy with the way their child looks or behaves. They themselves label it "too slow" or "too active", independently destroying those qualities that are given by nature. After all, no amount of training will make an athlete fast or a scientist assiduous. These are the qualities with which they are born, and only they help to find their true purpose in life. 

7. Forbidden to express their opinion 

It is often convenient for parents when their children's opinion coincides with their own. Because such a child would not want to get a tattoo at 16 or go to a disco. Just because Mom or Dad said so. But the development of critical thinking is the most important task of upbringing, because it is precisely this that is capable of forming a culture in a child and helping him to make reasonable decisions in later life.  

Just think: the world's largest discoveries were made by people who did not believe in established stereotypes and were ready to break them. That is why the best thing you can do for your child is to teach him to think and express his opinion.