Should I be the first to write a message to a man?

 Let's figure this out once and for all.

If you are afraid to cross the line between interest and obsession, then you are worried about whether to write to the first man. We'll cover the main reasons why a guy doesn't write. Knowing them, you will make your decision.

Should you write to a guy first if you just met?

The nature of men is that they need victories and conquests. And taking the first step towards the girl is one of these victories. Most of the time, if a guy doesn't call, he's not too interested.

If after the first date the man does not contact you, then the reasons may be different. He is shy or doesn't want to appear intrusive. Feelings of insecurity are just as common for men as for girls. Perhaps a man does not write because of the age difference, different social status and financial situation. He doesn't even assume that the girl liked him. In this case, the first step on the part of the woman is appropriate.

The reason why a man does not write may be self-doubt.

Some men deliberately wait for a pause to see how the girl will prove herself. Someone will be scared off by her persistence. Someone after the woman's message will make sure he is interesting. So in this case, consider whether to write first.

A man can be busy. Many people prefer to solve business issues first and then personal ones. Therefore, it is difficult for him to find time to contact a new acquaintance right after the date.

There is a possibility that he has lost his phone number, has problems with the device or does not have access to the Internet. In this case, you will help to restore the connection if you write first.

Should you write to a man first if you have known each other for a long time? 

If you are planning a serious relationship, and the man does not write, there may be several reasons:

  • Some men don't like correspondence.
  • The man has lost interest in you and is dating another.
  • An unforeseen situation happened: illness, dismissal, etc.
  • He is angry or offended.

Analyze your last meeting to understand the reason.

Perhaps a man is simply not a fan of writing, but prefers calls and meetings. If you have been dating for a long time, then hint to him that you are very pleased to receive messages from him.

If you are sure that your misbehavior was the cause of the spat, write first. This will improve your relationship. If a man gets sick or something unexpected happens, then he will need your support. Therefore, your message will let him know that you are worried about him.

If a man ignores your messages and calls, then do not insist. He is probably not interested in you.

Assess the situation and decide for yourself whether to write to the man first. Nowadays, there are no strict rules.

In the early stages of acquaintance, “he will call - he will not call”, “he will write - he will not write”, and when exactly is a test of his interest. Like mains voltage. If this outlet has 120 instead of 220, and your hairdryer works from 220, it’s silly to insist: “No, I need it! Work!" Or stick it in and hope: maybe it will work in half an hour? Or tomorrow? Here only yes-yes and no-no. If you like it, he will call on the same day or the next. In such a situation, it makes no sense to take the first step.