New rules for online dating: should you text first?

 Our expert debunks the main myths.

"A girl never meets herself and does not call first!" - the aunts talk. Girls who listen to their words grow up, become women... And suddenly they realize that interesting, charismatic men do not crowd in line, wanting to meet them. And the women themselves did not even learn to take initiative.

It turns out that the key to the success of personal happiness is the ability to meet first? But psychologists and aunts insist that a woman cannot play in a male role. A man is a conqueror, which means that he should come up first and get acquainted. How to proceed? Our expert will help to deal with this paradox.

 For an acquaintance to take place, a woman needs to broadcast her interest in a relationship to the world. Believe me, long before a man dared to speak, he mentally "scanned" you. I appreciated the silhouette and curves of the figure, noted how you control your body, how you present yourself. If you managed to catch his eye at this moment, support non-verbal communication: look in the eyes, smile, look at the empty space next to you. Formally, you do not take the initiative, but make it clear that you are glad of his attention.

Online dating rules

In the vastness of the network, it is more difficult to attract attention to yourself. But if in real life not everyone is ready for a woman to initiate an acquaintance, then on the Internet it is absolutely normal if she writes first. The opinion about dating sites as places where “everything is only for money”, “there are no normal men - only psychos and maniacs” and “a useless venture that is a shame to waste time on” are hopelessly outdated myths. In fact, online dating today is common, normal and even fashionable. Without air travel and knowledge of the language, you can communicate with people from anywhere in the world. It is enough to observe elementary caution, and online dating will never put you in danger.

To initiate communication on a dating site or in social networks, it is enough to like the man's photo. And now he is already going to your profile ... What should be there for a man to want to know you better?

1. Nice, beautiful photos

This is 90% success! Go through your photo archives and put aside the 50 best shots. Upload 5-10 best of them to your profile. Leave the rest in reserve - they will come in handy when the man asks for additional photos.

Never post in profile pictures in which you are in underwear or even a swimsuit. Banned photos, where you are in inviting and sexual poses, with grimaces, in a "fun" company, in a circle of friends, with an ex, at work or in home clothes in the kitchen.

Pick up shots where you are alone and you can be clearly seen. Photos should be in different angles, and your poses should emphasize the silhouette of the "hourglass". Let the pictures feature interesting locations that the man wants to ask you about. No need for excessive thoughtfulness and "fog" on your face, broadcast positive emotions.

2. Completed application form

Leaving an empty profile on a dating site is bad form. These Internet sites are created so that you can openly and consciously announce your search goals and partner characteristics. So what's the point of hiding your preferences from site visitors? An interestingly designed profile without spelling mistakes will help you attract a successful man.

3. Correctly organized social media page

If you are planning to get acquainted through social networks, then prepare your pages. Check current statuses, remove ambiguous memes and pictures from albums or lock up.

Send numerous family photos there.

Check if you are tagged in unsightly photos from friends.

Look at which groups you are in: it is better to remove references to purchases in adult stores.

You can leave photos from work on social networks, but do not post those in which you are depicted in the company of many men.

And clean up any frivolous comments under your photos.

Now feel free to join the conversation! Now more than ever, successful men have tons of time to spend online. Look for them on thematic business forums, language courses, communities of motorists, fans of different sports. Perhaps you will find them in online groups = watching concerts and tours of museums around the world. And do not forget about the most obvious - forums about men's "toys" (cigars, alcohol, collecting, gadgets, etc.).

How to start a conversation

If your like went unnoticed, give the man the right compliment or leave an interesting comment under the photo. Prepare a cheat sheet in advance with possible topics for communication with him. Profiles on dating sites and pages in social networks throw information about the preferences, friends, interests of a potential interlocutor, this will help you find a topic for conversation.

Think about your answers to possible questions, for example, “Why are you looking for a man on a dating site?”, “What type of relationship are you interested in?”, “What attracts and repels you in a man?”, “Are you ready to move to another city or country if you fall in love? "

What not to do when dating online

  • Don't dive into chatter. The main goal of virtual communication is a meeting in real life. If the correspondence is stuck at the "hello - bye" level and the man does not receive an offer to meet, it is unlikely that something will come of the acquaintance.

  • Don't confuse online communication with self-presentation. You are not in an interview! If you want to be interesting to a man, talk about him, not about yourself, your beloved.

  • Don't turn the dialogue into a questionnaire. Don't bombard a man with questions about everything. It is enough to ask 2-3 from different areas, for example, about culinary preferences, sports and travel. A man will definitely react to some topic and “turn on”.

Then everything is in your hands. Be witty, continue to support and rekindle mutual interest that will translate online communication into real meetings and dates. And remember: provoking an acquaintance (in a good way) is absolutely normal. But being a locomotive, pulling communication exclusively on yourself is a hopeless path.