Parting happens for a variety of reasons. Should you strive to stay with your ex-spouse in a close relationship, be friends with him? And if so, how to do it - explains the psychologist.
Naturally, there are no rules in the question of what should be the relationship between former spouses after parting. For one simple reason - people break up in different ways and for different reasons. Therefore, maintaining normal relations after a divorce is a matter, first of all, an individual matter and depends on the wishes of both spouses.
Do I need to stay friends after breaking up
Ideally, of course, you need to part with friends, because a lot connects you.And this is not only the years and property lived together , but also common children, friends with whom you spent time, in the end, memories of travel, business, and construction of a summer house. Together, you overcame difficulties and enjoyed something. And if you have nothing to share - more precisely, you were able to amicably decide the question of who and what will get after the divorce, if you have no complaints against each other, and everyone is ready to continue on their own way through life, then why not make it so that break up in really good, almost friendly terms.
In addition, different events can occur in life, and who knows, perhaps you will someday need help or support (moral, physical, material) from your ex-spouse. And if you take into account the presence of common children, then you still have to communicate in one way or another and solve issues related to their upbringing and education. And when the children grow up and think about starting their own families, you will still attend their wedding or chat with your grandchildren -there are no former parents!
Therefore, if you have natural wisdom and look to the future, make every effort to ensure that your relationship after the divorce remains either good or working. No one can force you to be friends, but it is quite possible to communicate without resentment, claims and manipulations if desired.
How to maintain a normal relationship with your ex-spouse
1. Learn to control your emotions
To divorce does not always come consciously, after joint discussions. Often, one of the parties proposes a divorce, the second at this moment is either not ready or did not even think about it.If a divorce was a complete surprise for you, you will certainly need to go through it, accept the situationperhaps seek help from a psychologist. In any case, you need to give yourself time and, with courage, let go of all resentments.
2. It's not only in marriage that you need to be able to compromise
After breaking up with your partner, you will have many more situations where you will need to hear and understand the other side, and if you want to keep the relationship, you will have to learn how to do it.
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