Being a good father is a lot of work and patience. And not every man is given it from above. Many women are in the illusion that everything is “clear as it is”: you need to take care of the child, devote personal time to him, bring up, give love and care, and it is also important for the child to be a positive example.
Of course, in ordinary life, everything is not at all like that. Women require men to fulfill parental responsibilities in the way they think is right and right, only men have a completely different view of parenting. And some families get into a serious fight over the fact that dads are not the dads that moms would like. And yet, a man is the whole world, and he has his own traumas, personal stories, peculiarities of perception and thinking, which dictate to him his paternal position. There are a number of criteria by which you can understand that it is difficult for your man to be an ideal father, and here are what you should pay attention to in advance:
1: He has a bad relationship with his father.
You should definitely pay attention to your man's relationship with his father first. Of course, if they are warm and trusting, then you should stick to your advice and recommendations. After all, you are already building a relationship with your man, which means that the result of his father's upbringing suits you. It is strange to try to re-educate an adult, but hereif the dad has withdrawn himself from upbringing or was excessively rude, strict, then there is a possibility that your partner unwittingly adopted a number of such negative traits and will broadcast it to your baby.
2: He was raised only by his mother (or his grandmother was also to help)
Unfortunately, such men are selfish and demanding of themselves, irresponsible in most cases. Such men generally have a poor idea of what a fatherly position is. The exceptions are those men who, nevertheless, due to acute life circumstances, have retained courage, the ability to protect those who need it, and you can rely on them.
3: He has a bad relationship with younger siblings.
Younger siblings are a little rehearsal for the father's position. It is worth finding out what the relationship was like, how did your man look after the younger one, was there any close contact? Emotionally, there is more rivalry, or is it the loyalty and devotion of the older brother to the younger offspring?
4: Dislikes pets
Did he have pets as a child, and how does he feel about them? If he was ready to give them his time and energy, to clean up after them, this indicates how much a man is responsible for those he tamed. If on the contrary, this is a bad sign.
5: Plays consoles and computer games
Male intelligence, erudition, knowledge and interests are very important. Is there something a man can share with his child? Of course,if your man plays with a phone or console, don't expect the birth of a child to turn his world upside downmost likely, the child will also play computer games from an early age, like a dad.
6: Spends a lot of money on himself and his interests
Is your man financially responsible for others? Or does she feed only herself? If so, then the appearance of a baby will not become an important item of expenses for him. Ideally, the man bears half of the liability for the cost of the child. Infantile men either promise, but do nothing, or aggressively express their position: "What can you not earn for a child's porridge yourself?"
7: He is impatient
Without patience, it is difficult to shake, lay, pick up, go outside, all these procedures will not give him any pleasure. In addition to patience, there must be a sincere desire to continue. It motivates. After all, the man himself wanted this baby: so that he was, so that he was like him, to deal with his development and upbringing and love his continuation in him.
Dads can't be perfect. Different dads are needed, different dads are important. However, I would like to note thatmen with some forms of addiction, unfortunately, will open a cruel world to their children. And this is absolutely unacceptable. And your little one will suffer an injury that will leave an imprint on his adult future.
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