Sometimes there seems to be a relationship, but it still seems that something is wrong in them. One has only to look at them closer (and more objectively), how, perhaps, you will understand that they are toxic, and something needs to be changed.
We endure bad relationships for various reasons - maybe we have low self-esteem, maybe we are not sufficiently aware of ourselves to understand what is happening, maybe we are not coping well with our emotions, and so on. But all of this creates superficial, psychologically unhealthy and potentially abusive relationships. Here's a list of the signs of unhealthy relationships that we don't want to see.
Keep track of errors
The "counting" phenomenon is when someone you are dating continues to blame you for past mistakes. If both people in a relationship do this, it becomes what is called a “relationship scorecard,” where they become a battle over who screwed up the most in months or years, and therefore who owes the other the most. Not only do you reject the current problem by focusing on past mistakes, but you also try to shake off guilt about your past while making your man feel bad about the present.
You will both end up wasting a huge chunk of your energy trying to prove that one of you is less guilty than the other. but don't come close to solving your current problem.
Passive aggression
Why say something directly? What if the hint works? Is your partner unable to think in the direction you need? But no, he cannot do it, but you find small and hardly noticeable ways to anger your other half, because then you will feel that you have a right to complain about him.
When you are in a relationship, you feel safe, and you do not even have the thought to behave this way, to be afraid to show insecurity or even anger. You will calmly express your emotions if you are sure that you will not be criticized for it. Even if you argue for a long time about the solution to the problem.
Constant jealousy
You get angry when a man talks, calls, writes, even sneezes in the immediate vicinity of another woman (and even if he touches someone...), and then you continue to transfer this anger to him and try to control. There is nothing healthy about it when it starts going crazy - hacking a man's email account, reading messages on his phone while he's in the shower, or even following him around town and showing up without warning.
It's amazing that some people describe jealousy as a kind of expression of affection, wrongly believing that if their partner isn't jealous, it somehow means that they don't love enough. This is absolutely insane. Excessive jealousy is not a manifestation of very strong love, but simply control and a way of manipulation.
Blaming your partner for your own emotions
Let's say you have a stupid day and your partner is not very sympathetic or supportive. Maybe he talked on the phone with people from work all day and didn't really want to be distracted by you. And in the evening you want to sit at home together and just watch a movie, but your man plans to go somewhere, to see friends.
As your frustration with your day - and your partner's reaction to it - increases, you find that the loved one is completely insensitive and callous towards you. At the same time, you have never asked for emotional support, but you think that a man should just instinctively know how to make you feel better. He should have stopped talking on the phone and abandoned his plans just because of your "terrible state" and your mood.
Blaming our partners for your emotions is complete selfishness and an example of not respecting personal boundaries. When you set a precedent that your partner should always be responsible for how you feel (and vice versa), it can easily lead to a codependent relationship .
0 Comments